2022.01.19 14:47 wolffyypat NT gold
2022.01.19 14:47 Mollymay345 Let's hear it for the boy
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2022.01.19 14:47 DaKaptun Real estate agent
Greetings everyone, sorry if this isn't the place for this but my partner and I are looking to buy our first home in the Skaha lake area; Penticton, Kaleden, OK Falls etc. Can anyone recommend a real estate agent that would help a couple newbies out? Haha thank you in advance :)
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2022.01.19 14:47 ilg_1983 Friendship Breakup - What A Messed Up Situation!
Two of my best friends just broke up with me and I am feeling really depressed about it. I have known them both for about 3 years and we were incredibly close - chatting everyday on our Whatsapp group chat and one of them who I will call Friend 1 (F1) would call me multiple times a week and would talk for hours. The other friend, Friend 2 (F2) had known F1 for 20 years, so their friendship was well established long before I entered the picture and she was my physiotherapist.
To give some context about my relationship with F1, I did think it was a bit one sided but because I considered her a dear friend, I made myself available for her in any way she needed. She is also dealing with a serious illness (but is stable and has been doing well). For example, she would call me multiple times a week for the past two years and would only talk about herself, like 98% of the time it was me listening about her life experiences (past issues with other friends, issues with her family growing up, marriage issues as well as funny stories) Not every conversation was serious. We would have some wine and she would talk to me on the phone but again it seemed like she wasn't interested in really getting to know me. I always made myself available whenever she asked if I was free, always at night, and most nights we would chat from 10 pm to 3 am or later. I was a listener, a supportive friend and I validated her feelings and showed a genuine interest in her, without expecting much back in return. I know she appreciated it and was always very kind. She would invite me for sleepovers too and we would watch movies for hours. She would often complain of back pain so I would massage her back, legs and feet for hours while watching movies, again not really getting much back in return (I would maybe a massage back for a few minutes or so). Whenever I was going through something (I've had 4 pregnancy losses in the past 2 years), she would send me flowers or Ubereats gift cards. She would also organize little AirBnB getaways for our families and invited me on a family trip with a bunch of other friends and her family to the Caribbean this past summer. I paid for my flight, my food, taxis, etc and her husband payed for the villa for everyone to stay at for the month. I do appreciate everything she did. It felt like our relationship was transactional. That she spent money on me (which is actually what I don't need) but for her I met her needs by being an available and attentive friend.
In October, after we got back from our trip, I got pregnant again but early on, it looked like it was not going to be a viable pregnancy due to abnormal bloodwork and ultrasounds. She arranged for me and F2 to come over for a sleepover as her husband was going to be away for a weekend. I thought I had made it clear that I wanted to see them as they knew I was under a lot of stress with the probable failed pregnancy. She decided to ask another friend, who I barely knew, but who was also on the trip with us, for dinner. I was pretty disappointed but didn't say anything as it was her place and she invited this other friend.
On the Sunday, the day we were supposed to go over and I was supposed to have the sleepover, I started to miscarry. I messaged her telling her what was going on and said I would stay at home. I did so because deep down I didn't want to be in the company of her other friend that I barely knew. I honestly felt like she didn't care. I was her best friend, we had this get together planned for weeks in advance and if I were her, and she were going through this, I would have honestly told the other "newer friend" that we would postpone dinner with her because a dear friend needed me. She sent me messages encouraging me to come anyway saying she would support me, give me a back rub, that I could put my feet up and relax and that she and F2 would cuddle me. I decided to go later in the night, hoping that the other friend would be gone by then but she wasn't. When I got there it was like no one really cared what I was going through. They served me some food and made me some tea but they were talking about their own stuff, and not paying me any mind. I then went into the bedroom after about 1.5 hours and went to bed. She claims that F2 came in to check up on me, but she didn't. The next day I was resting and all we did was watch movies quietly and she ordered food. I honestly didn't feel supported at all. She rubbed some essential oil on my lower back for a second even though my back wasn't hurting. I asked her to press down on my belly as I was having a bad cramp/contraction and she got all weird and uncomfortable (meanwhile when I was on holiday with her months before, she offered to give me a belly rub when I was having cramps). So I thought it was ok to ask. She used the excuse that her nails would have hurt me, I found out much later that it was in fact because she doesn't like people touching her stomach so she doesn't like doing it to others/doesn't know how. So she basically does what she wants, whereas I have always done what she needed (giving back, shoulder and feet massages...for HOURS every time I am with her). She also claimed she thought we arranged it as just another girls night.. not sure how she would think that as she knew I was stressed dealing with weeks of knowing the pregnancy was probably going to end. I just felt ignored. She didn't ask how I was feeling/doing/didn't offer any kind words then next morning when we were in her bed watching movies.
The next month, my birthday rolled around and she asked if I wanted the same friend to come to her place for dinner as she invited me for a sleepover with F2. This was triggering because whenever the two of them are together its their show. They talk about their own stuff and don't really involve others. I said I would prefer if it was just the three of us - me, her and F2. She understood. But I still felt really triggered and hurt by what happened when I had the miscarriage and how I was treated. I felt ignored. I cancelled going to her place for my birthday as I was just in a crappy mood. The next day I called her and I told her how I was feeling. I was crying. She was shocked, understandably as she didn't expect this/ know this is how I felt as a few weeks had passed. Also because I slept over another time after my miscarriage. That time the same friend also came over for dinner which was totally fine as it was just a "regular night." At that time her dad had Covid and was in the ICU and she had just broken up with her boyfriend so she was having a hard time. F1 was SO loving, kind, caring and supportive... and this is for someone she barely knew! ( I didn't tell her this). So that was a slap in the face for me.
She sent me a sincere apology which I genuinely accepted. Then things took a turn for the worse. A few days later she informed me she had to speak to her therapist because she was ruminating and thinking she was a bad friend. She proceeded to tell me what her other friends would need in situations like this (distraction, food etc) and that she acknowledges that not everyone needs the same things and that she will respectfully ask what I need going forward but that she also has to know what her limitations are. I was shocked, it kinda felt like her initial apology was insignificant. Again, she was the one who was encouraging me to come, telling me that she would give me massages and cuddles and support me! She offered. This stuff has happened many times in the past, where she offers something and doesn't/can't follow through. This is why it is hard to ask for things that I need because if she can't do what she offers, how am I supposed to know what I can expect of her?
Things were rocky afterwards for about a month. She would send me loving texts everyday and would check in but things felt off. We were in this grey zone. Where she sounded normal on texts, but we didn't chat on the phone anymore, weren't hanging out one on one. She said she is working on being a better friend and that her therapist says she needs to make some changes like going to bed earlier, exercising etc. I fully supported her efforts for self care but I wasn't sure how that would impact our relationship. It felt like I was disposable, like she took what she needed but no longer needed me/that I was no longer important. We went from 100% to like 5% overnight. I was confused. I asked if everything was ok. She said yes, that once she says her piece she is fine. I still sensed some distance but she got mad at me everytime I mentioned that things felt off. I went from being there for her all the time to her keeping me at an arm's length. So I tried to remain close by asking to do things etc which she didn't like. I grew cold and resentful, despite her kind and loving and seemingly normal text messages. I grew tired of trying so I sent an email to her and my other friend who was also distancing herself from me as I told her I didn't feel supported when i was there having my miscarriage. I explaining how them distancing was making me feel, and that no one was giving me an answer as to why things felt were different. F2 gaslit me. F1, this friend, said she didn't like my pushing and needed space. She described one situation where her friend's mom had passed away and said she was scared to get off the phone with me as she was helping her friend, who lived in Australia with the funeral arrangements. At the time of that call, she sounded flustered to be talking to me. I asked her if things were ok between us and she freaked out at me. I asked her how I knew that things weren't going to change and she kept repeating "you don't." So I panicked. How was I supposed to know she needed space when she didn't tell me and when she was messaging me everyday? So I backed off and gave her space.
After I sent them the email saying I will be taking a step back, she started message me to make plans for group get togethers in January, so I thought she was working on things getting back to normal again. She sent me the links to the restaurants she was thinking of us going to, making plans for my daughter and I to join her and some other mom friends for high tea.
Then she went on holiday in December and decided to delete me from the group chat from our previous Caribbean trip and messaged me at 4 am saying how she felt hurt that I told her I felt like she as always in control, that I had no voice and that I was scared of her. These were messages I sent her in a previous text message when I felt like things were different but I couldn't ask, gain clarity etc. Every time, she accused me of being anxious and told me I needed to speak to my therapist. I was frustrated. She was clearly managing the relationship and I was just expected to roll with it and be ok with it. All I needed was some communication and clarity as I was getting mixed messages.. by her acting so kind and loving over text but distancing herself from me in other ways. She also said she felt suffocated by my earlier attempts, that she needed space after I had mentally unloaded on her (again she was still messaging me and didn't ask for a break or space), that I should have known she needed space, she thought I was being pushy (by asking to hang out, not respecting that her friend's mom had died, etc). She also mentioned that she should have grieved at home with my husband during my miscarriage (again she encouraged me to come and was offering me things that she knew I needed and liked but didn't deliver.. not only that but not even asking me if I was doing ok, how I was feeling), that she didn't feel like she ignored me when I was at her house miscarrying, that she does what she can, that our languages of love are different (she has spent money on me with flowers, gift cards and organizes airbnb trips and sleepovers) and that I should adjust my expectations.
Clearly she is mistaken. She thinks that language of love is what you are willing to offer, when really it is about being aware of what the other person needs. So in other words, she can only give me what she wants, and is not really interested in what I need, so I should be grateful for whatever she gives me. Meanwhile, I know am ALWAYS attuned, sensitive and responsive to her needs. I like the same things I offer her! During this 4am conversation over text, she mentioned that she thinks we need to talk one on one if we are to move forward. I agreed to this and was looking forward to this conversation. I messaged her two weeks after and once she was back from her holiday to ask if we could set up a time to talk at some point. She was avoiding this. I found an article on stonewalling - which was when one person avoids out of fear of making the situation worse, which causes the other person to push. It was non accusatory. It actually explains that its common and it explains both sides and why each party does what they do. It also offered practical solutions. I thought this would help her to see that what we were both doing was normal and that better communication from both parties is what could have prevented all of this. The article did frame it in the context of a spousal relationship and what happens between a mother and a child, but it was so well written that it actually puts it into context perfectly and makes it relatable to anyone. In the email that I sent to her, I said that it happens in friendships too and that the analogies don't apply to us (partners, parents or child). I made sure the state that clearly. She then sent me an email saying she is uncomfortable with the article as it sounds like something intended for a spousal relationship. I was honestly shocked. I figured she would just see the big picture. I showed this article to my other friends and they were shocked that that was the only thing she took away from the article. She then let me know that she will need space for the foreseeable future. So she has cut me off.
I am so mad that everything was on her terms.. she needed space but didn't want to communicate it to me, so I should have just known, despite her messaging me everyday. She wanted space so I gave her space, then she wanted to get together as a group so I agreed to those plans (that never happened), then she wanted to do things one-on-one so I agreed. Now she is deciding to walk away from the friendship.
Any advice or input is greatly appreciate.
Thank you for reading.
TLDR: Expressed my hurt to a friend, didn't know she needed time/space as she was still messaging me. Things felt off so I made efforts for remain close. She didn't like it and pushed me away further. I was frustrated and said I felt like she was always in control/ I didn't have a voice (because of this situation of being left in the dark and others in the past). I pulled away from the friendship. She acted like she wanted things to go back to normal so I agreed to work on it. Then she decided to not be my friend.
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2022.01.19 14:47 -Anime-otaku- Anyone know any creepy/odd websites from like early 2000’s?
2022.01.19 14:47 blueshadow99 What are some unique or fun crossovers you'd love to see or write?
I love the idea of a Star Wars x Mortal Kombat story where the heroes and villains get brought into the Star Wars universe and have to find a way back. Not to mention the interactions and fight scenes would be pretty cool. Like Grevious vs Sektor or Cyrax, Sidious fighting Shang Tsung.
I also like the idea of a Ben 10 x Star Wars crossover since it's a fun and solid idea and there aren't many good ones that involve them or just aren't what I'm looking for. There was one that had my attention and was also a crossover with Generator Rex and Secret Saturdays but it was just one chapter and I'm pretty sure it's dead.
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2022.01.19 14:47 Starry-Striped-Sky Lady in ice water at the “Baptism of Christ”, a holiday celebrated in East. Europe by the Orthodox
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2022.01.19 14:47 Nyldren Let others feed the Klombo too
I've been killed several times while trying to feed them, why i can't just feed a Klombo without anyone trying to kill me, that's really annoying, there are even people waiting in a corner next to a Klombo just to kill you when you try, please, if you see anyone trying to feed a Klombo, let them do it without trying to kill them just for the fruits or anything, there is a NPC near one of his spawn areas that sell the fruit so you don't need to kill someone just to get it.
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2022.01.19 14:47 shradux AI generated drawing of Mordekaiser that looks nice
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2022.01.19 14:47 k_e_francis AUTHORTUBE AFTER DARK | January 19, 2022 | Authortube | Booktube | Horrortube
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2022.01.19 14:47 Martenius1 💸 Invisible Friends NFT collection // PreSale LIVE Now !!! // + 5 ETH GIVEAWAY
Invisible Friends NFT collection features 4444 animated NFTs created by animator and illustrator, Markus Magnusson. Based on some of the sneak peeks the team shared on Twitter, the artworks look simple and eye-catching. Magnusson working on the characters adds to the hype. He has 188,000 Instagram followers and has sold several NFTs before. A notable one among these is the Invisible ghost friend man, which was sold for 4.8723 ETH or about $18,600 last October.
2022.01.19 14:47 Tovar42 I drew Tensor-chan the mascot of Waifu engine
2022.01.19 14:47 NiiazAI Mirrored Ape Club eth collection
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2022.01.19 14:47 ExistentialScreaming [Pre-order] Lizzy McAlpine - Five Seconds Flat - Maroon Vinyl, Deluxe
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2022.01.19 14:47 Desperate_Island_291 How to buy online directly from China?
I want to order clothes from Shein, I know that the clothes are made in China, is there a way I can have the clothes shipped directly from China to Trinidad instead of China to the US then to Trinidad? I want to avoid the extra fees that would cost.
If so, what is the process and what is the cost? What is the courier service I would have to use?
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2022.01.19 14:47 21stCenturySucks Who will take care of people with severe mental or physical disability when their parents and siblings pass away?
2022.01.19 14:47 DopeInJapan Need information about this mixer
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2022.01.19 14:47 eeclarkjr Stain on my driveway looks like a heart
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2022.01.19 14:47 PretendInterview3399 Is 2 oz a plant possible with ten CLONES in 1 gallons 2-3 weeks of veg with 1 top grown vertical ,with a 480w using a fc4800 led?
2022.01.19 14:47 Nft4light Top 5 NFT projects to BUY in 2022
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2022.01.19 14:47 oDANGASMo Reading sad donations
2022.01.19 14:47 eunoiades Guaranteed laughter.
It amazes me that an episode of New Girl is guaranteed to make me laugh regardless of the fact that I’ve seen every episode a bazillion times. Can anyone else relate? Even when I’m not in the best mood, it’s guaranteed that this show will put a smile on my face & make me laugh. I’ve never been able to rewatch a show so many times and still remain entertained. New Girl is for sure my comfort show.
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2022.01.19 14:47 deyvsonwll3d HI guys first post here, I'm a 3d artist and digitally scultp a Cloud Strife Statue for collectibles, more info and images in comments
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2022.01.19 14:47 Ordinary-Emu8471 intro to micro
2022.01.19 14:47 jack-of-all-trades1 Bbi may go green soon