2021.11.28 02:09 DGamesYT NEW PREMIERE PRO BETA AUDIO REMIXING (why aren't people talking about this???)
|submitted by DGamesYT to youtubepromotion [link] [comments]|
2021.11.28 02:09 rosedonnamartha420 I think I'm finally ready.
I have bad grammar, struggle with writing, and fucked up my brain with drugs. so im sorry if this is hard to read.
I promised myself last night that it would be my last bowl ever. but when i got home from work, my friend came over, and i fucked up again.
but something made me kick him out. I kind of had a mini freak out, and I made get all his shit together. And politely asked him to please stay away from me so that i can finally give myself a shot. I gave him all my paraphernalia. I rinsed water in everything, threw out the trash, cleaned anything i thought it was on or around. and its all gone. out of this apartment and away from me.
And my mood swings and psychosis has burned every other bridge I have, so hopefully there are no ways for me to find this shit anymore. and i dont think anyone is that bad of a person to offer it to me after watching my decline. but meth has shown me how evil people can get, making me pray that i have the self respect to not stoop so low anymore. im not trying to be judgmental on anybody. i just mean that a person who could sell meth to a well known schizophrenic isnt the type person i want to be around anymore. even though normal people are too afraid to be around me, i dont care if that means i'll be alone anymore.
i've watch myself become a horrible person. ive been bitter, hateful, selfish, bitchy and a bully. when i use to be sweet and fun to be around. to a stranger you'd never guess. but to the ones i love, i'm a source of distress and pain. i hate myself.
hopefully my sleeping meds help me get to sleep soon. my tolerance is so high i barely need them anymore. so, when i wake up sober in the morning, I'll be facing a new life, and Im hoping things will start to chill out again. im so ready for all the chaos to end.
my brain will probably never recover from all the meth and research chemicals ive been doing. but hopefully, i can go back to being a source of joy and comfort, and i can go back to being a good person. i want to make my mom proud again. i hope i can find a way to undo all the pain ive caused. i hope they arent hurting too bad.
buut I guess im wondering how can i power through my day job without a bowl in the morning? and then recharge again for my night job? (day job is chill and laid back, but steady. night job is busy, fast paced, high stress, always on the go) what do I have to expect past the first week of recovery? should i get in touch with my psychiatrist, and be honest, and tell her so she can adjust my meds?
and are there any NA or recovery Discord servers that you guys could invite me to?
i have one day off tomorrow to rest up, but i go back to it monday, and wont have another day off for awhile. this is going to be so crazy. everyone is gonna think im sick as fuck. and they'll probably fire me wont they. cant tell them im quitting meth cuz then they'll know ive been going to work high. they know i struggle with mental illness and smoke pot. but meth might freak them out. i hope they dont know at least... i mean, if they know about the meth already they havent said a thing or even hinted. so i guess i could be wrong, but Ive taken pretty good care of my health and body. and cool thing about being schizophrenic is that im paranoid no matter what, so they dont think anything is off lol.
im kindo of just rambling at this point. sorry. but if anybody wants to talk, i wouldnt mind the company.
i dont have a lot of friends or support, and the rooms in this town got a bunch of perverts and 13th steppers. And my family gave up on me a long time ago. so this is going to be a lot harder than the first time, when i was trying to quit opiates. that time i got sent to rehab, and then an outpatient rehab, plus suboxone, and i still had my family's emotional support, and financial support. this time i have just myself and my cats, and one single friend who has been with me through it all. he's a saint though, idk how he does it, but i cant rely on him, he has one million kids at his house all the time, so he cant really get distracted by all this. i think i will be okay if i utilize the internet and get a therapist, and see my psychiatrist more often.
submitted by rosedonnamartha420 to StopSpeeding [link] [comments]
2021.11.28 02:09 beanieweenie90210 Me (19F) broke up with my (20M) boyfriend of a year very recently and now I like someone else (18M)
So I've put myself in a pickle. I had been dating my boyfriend for a year (we had been "together" for almost a year and a half) and our relationship was just getting strenuous as time went on. . I really thought he was my soulmate, and I still do. We talked about marriage and what we would possibly name our children one day and we talked about our future together. We had the same beliefs and we thought the same way. Then our honeymoon phase just kind of wore out. We were fighting all the time and we're both very insecure so we didn't think we deserved each other. I was so unhappy nearing the end, our relationship wasn't the way it was when we first met. College is rough on him, and he never gets much sleep. Even if he does have free time he wanted to spend it with me, which I heavily admired. We know everything about each other. But it was so strange, he had become so worried and scared about the strangest things... He had gotten so scared to come to my house that he wouldn't even get out of the car unless I came and got him out. I just wanted him to be comfortable. His mental health was derived on my happiness, and mine on his. I also told him that we had become too dependent on each other. I thought it would be best for me as an individual to have time for myself, so I wanted a break from him. He insisted that "if we're going to take a break, we're going to have to break up because I can't do that." I tried to distance myself from him as much as possible, but our relationship was just getting worse. Finally I was at a breaking point, I hadn't even thought about breaking up with him until the week I did. He has told me multiple times in the past that he wanted to break up with me. I was just so sick and tired of not knowing what he wanted. I was so sick and tired of crying myself to sleep at night, worrying that he was talking to someone else who could make him happier. I couldn't take it anymore, the weight was so heavy on my shoulders that I just needed to break up with him. And I did. I cried for two minutes and then I was over it. I was okay. I felt so relived, like I had just lost 150 pounds off of my shoulders. He told me, and I quote, "Well baby if you think I'm just gonna wait around I wouldn't count on that. You've just thrown me to the curb." And I took that to heart. I downloaded tinder. And I know, I know. But there are some gems of men on tinder! Introducing my 18M! He's so genuine and sweet. He's honestly what I've been needing. But he's not the type of guy that my parents would approve of. Even then we went on our first date today at lunch. It honestly was the most easy-going first dates I have ever been on. I haven't heard from 20M ever since we broke up, but as soon as 18M left me. Holy cow. Who do I get a text from? YOU GUESSED IT! Guess who wants to get together and talk tomorrow, who misses me and wants to change. He says he knows our relationship will get better. I agreed for us to talk tomorrow in person. I'm a straightforward type of gal, so I went and told 18M about the pickle I put myself in. He is so understanding, but he wants to be with me. I honestly don't know what I want, I really like 18M, but I still love 20M. I just need some help, I will update after 20M and I's talk tomorrow.
TL;DR My 20M ex of over a year wants to talk to get back together but, I've started talking to a new 18M who I really like. I'm really confused about who I want and what I'm going to do.
submitted by beanieweenie90210 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
2021.11.28 02:09 trashcan131 How much of a leg up do you get by applying through deferred admission? Worth it to even try at this point?
First time coming across this sub. Sorry if this question has come up before!
I recently decided that I may want to do an MBA in the future. Being a senior college grad finishing in December, I thought it may be worthwhile to try and prep for deferred admission in the months before I start my full-time job.
I’m not 100% sure if doing an MBA is what I actually want for my future. Given this, would it still be worthwhile to try for it now? Is there even a large enough advantage to apply now? Or should I put it off in the future when I know for sure.
submitted by trashcan131 to MBA [link] [comments]
2021.11.28 02:09 Spakr-Herknungr Yogis, Gurus, Monks, and Psychedelics an incomplete story?
Ram Dass includes in "Be Here Now," a brief autobiography in which he describes his quest to find out what exactly psychedelics are. He then describes what he learns from his own experience but never explains what the people he talked to said about them. I thought the whole reason he went to India was to give LSD and psilocybin to eastern mystics and get their take, but the only follow up we get is that Maharaji took a mega dose and nothing happened. I understand the point of the story, but it seems very incomplete. Does anyone else have more information about this?
submitted by Spakr-Herknungr to ramdass [link] [comments]
2021.11.28 02:09 Historical_gau Desabafo da madrugada
Estou chorando muito nesse momento e desesperada, sofro a anos de depressão, passo por fases que melhoro e algumas como agora que vem a crise e recaída, faz um mês quase fui parar no hospital por conta de uma crise de ansiedade, eu precisava falar com alguém e ninguém queria me ouvir, nessa vi quem eram meus amigos realmente, dai em um momento de desespero desabafei com um familiar sobre o que eu estava sentindo esse familiar sem saber como me ajudar foi procurar respostas no búzios eu não tenho nada contra, mas foi falado lá uma coisa que só piorou tudo que eu sinto, só de estar escrevendo aqui sinto meu coração bater acelerado, a vontade que eu tenho é de me entregar a depressão, não tenho mais animo pra nada… mas por conta das coisas que foi falado lá se eu me entregar vou arruinar de forma que nem tem como medir a vida de duas pessoas que amo muito… se eu levanto da cama pra trabalhar e talz é por conta desse amor, mas está difícil demais lidar com tudo isso.. não sei mais o que fazer de verdade.. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
submitted by Historical_gau to desabafos [link] [comments]
2021.11.28 02:09 drynionph ✨ Metaverse Doge ✨ | The First Ever Defi Metaverse Doge | CERTIK audit DONE | Game P2E being developed | ⚡ Launching Now on BSC | Low market cap | Huge potential ✨
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Liquidity is locked for 3 months and LP tokens are burned forever.
Buy tax 6%
Sell tax 11%
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submitted by drynionph to CryptocurrencyICO [link] [comments]
2021.11.28 02:09 Rustin788 Ruff Saturday Night
|submitted by Rustin788 to dogpictures [link] [comments]|
2021.11.28 02:09 sammmmeeeeehh h: qe25 w: legacy offers
2021.11.28 02:09 MostProbablyPetra I think I might be depressed but masking it very well?
For background context: Age 24, female.
Been diagnosed in the past with: BPD, anorexia, BED, have struggled with anxiety and depression, C-PTSD.
Been told I have OCD, psychotic elements, bipolar ... (all by different doctors over the course of 10 years, and none of which have been true in the end to my knowledge.)
Done so much therapy, and it has helped. Managed to quit smoking weed everyday and drinking.
Yet I still struggle to keep jobs, relationships, friendships.
I don't know how I feel anymore. I don't know if it's possible I'm depressed but in denial? These are the symptoms I've been dealing with for the last month to 2 months, worsening as the weeks pass (although it is winter and I live in Canada): - fatigued and lethargic - lack of interest and motivation even in things like TV - stuck on the same load of laundry for the last three weeks - don't feel like socializing, every time I see people I coincidentally binge eat afterwards - I have been managing to workout and go for walks - grumpy, easily annoyed - want to sleep all the time - talk very fast and get overly excited - bored - at times feel very hyper physically and mentally, but not anxious, just running 1000 miles an hour - the tiniest tasks exhaust me and I feel like I need days to recover - all tasks seem to require the same energy (driving 2 hours = folding laundry, it's doing something and it seems exhausting)
Psychologist has been following me for three years for BPD but finds that since I quit smoking weed I seem to present more ADHD like traits.
I saw a psychiatrist last week but somehow he thinks I have nothing at all, that I must just not like my job (from which I am on sick leave due to these above symptoms).
This is the first time I am sober (240 days) and medication free (4 years) in ten years. I don't have thoughts of suicide or hopelessness, nor low self worth. I am quite confident in myself, yet struggling. I have been suicidally depressed in the past and it wasn't like this.
Is this SAD? Should I get a second psychiatric opinion? Am I in denial about being depressed? That psychiatrists visit threw me off so much. His questions were so vague, maybe I mask well.
I'm tired and confused and don't know where to go from here.
submitted by MostProbablyPetra to DiagnoseMe [link] [comments]
2021.11.28 02:09 civilrainy Black Dress
|submitted by civilrainy to clothedwomen [link] [comments]|
2021.11.28 02:09 SamiKatz88 Serious question
2021.11.28 02:09 ProudNewYorker Exploration of Heritage
I’ve always known for years that my families ancestry dates back to the UK, specifically England.
That said, I’ve not explored the ancestry beyond confirmation of the DNA. Any suggestions or information on the British culture and how to find ancestry lines through research?
submitted by ProudNewYorker to AncestryDNA [link] [comments]
2021.11.28 02:09 WhiteDragon32 Break over wave 200?
I hear some people claiming that Ass / Heal / Clone does better than ass / time. Some have said that it has helped them to get passed wave 200. Anyone tried this out?
submitted by WhiteDragon32 to randomdice [link] [comments]
2021.11.28 02:09 derpyrhino463 An interesting title
2021.11.28 02:09 nhgcr_222 I'm Both
|submitted by nhgcr_222 to animegamoogmemer [link] [comments]|
2021.11.28 02:09 EnvironmentalLevel40 ASTI is a tough play! Any thoughts?
2021.11.28 02:09 DGamesYT NEW PREMIERE PRO BETA AUDIO REMIXING (why aren't people talking about this???)
|submitted by DGamesYT to YoutubeSelfPromotion [link] [comments]|
2021.11.28 02:09 john972121 Looking for reptile/amphibian ideas!
Looking for suggestions!
Planning on a winter project this year. I want to take a 10-20 gallon aquarium and do a half water, half land sort of set up. Terrestrial, obviously. Water wouldn’t be super deep, maybe a few inches, or more. Wondering what would be good for this sort of setup. I know it would probably work well for Red Eyed Crocodile Skinks, but I’m looking for more ideas. Feel free to suggest amphibians as well
submitted by john972121 to reptiles [link] [comments]
2021.11.28 02:09 findgratitude A gambler's stream of consciousness
I'm nearly 3 months clean and I'm feeling so frustrated. I've come to this thread so many times reading about folks paying off their debts and finally having a savings, and of course I assumed my reward for close to 100 days of not gambling would be tons of money in my savings account! So unrealistic, I know. But a girl can dream, right? Like giving up any addiction, the rewards will come...slowly. The question is...can I keep myself clean long enough to enjoy them? The first 2 weeks were really difficult, but then the cravings began lessening and I thought "Holy fuck, I can do this. I can beat this addiction!" But eventually, the natural high I got from that feeling wore off, and the cravings started creeping their way back into my brain, wiping any memory of the depths of despair this dreaded disease brings upon us. Now it's Christmas time...my favorite time of the year. I love nothing more than sitting at a slot machine, cigarette in one hand, other on the spin button, listening to the clangs of the machines, gazing up at the over the top Christmas decor. Waiting for my next round of bonus spins. Absolutely knowing THIS is the night it will happen. The big jackpot. The one that changes everything. Alas, I know this all to be a lie. Because the next morning, when I've had 2 hours of sleep, the drive home will be positively gut wrenching. I will replay all my losses, and all my wins I turned into losses, and think about how I've once again thrown my life into a daily ritual of calculating every penny going out of my bank account to ensure I don't go below zero. That bullshit right there...that's the stuff I can never remember until it's too late. I pray to God I can remember it this time.
submitted by findgratitude to GamblingAddiction [link] [comments]
2021.11.28 02:09 kikroks Do I have to buy the year pass again?
So I originally bought the ultimate edition on xbox which comes with the year pass. I know that if I want to play on my pc I will have to either re buy it or pay for EA's subscription. But I was wondering if I could just get away with just buying the base game and not have to pay the extra 20 or 30 bucks for the gold edition to just get the year pass?
submitted by kikroks to battlefield2042 [link] [comments]
2021.11.28 02:09 bknybambam Has anyone with a cat shield had there’s stolen?
Mine got stolen a few weeks ago (I was sleeping in the car on a deserted street and didn’t have time to figure out what the fuck was happening before they were gone).
My mechanic just replaced the cat and welded a temporary thing on but told me to buy a shield.
I’m wondering specifically if anyone had had protection and still gotten it stolen. I know they’re all just deterrents, but I haven’t seen much info out there that shows their actual efficacy.
Just trying to decide on a brand and one to know how easy I can sleep at night (in my car or not ;) )
submitted by bknybambam to HondaElement [link] [comments]
2021.11.28 02:09 OddFatherWilliam Dumaladipa amadui?
2021.11.28 02:09 GetShattON Trading 6m gems
2021.11.28 02:09 RealCzarcasm Cool little meet.
|submitted by RealCzarcasm to HashiriyaDrifter [link] [comments]|